
I like going to German class because I’m one of those strange individuals who finds language learning to be a fun activity. And in that class today, we had a story about a German guy who was offered a job in Brazil. He was conflicted about whether or not to accept it, and we were to read an email he wrote his friend, asking for advice on the matter. I read his email aloud, and realized that he was only giving excuses as to why he shouldn’t take the job. “I don’t speak Portuguese,” “I’ll miss all of my friends,” “My girlfriend doesn’t want to move overseas,” “I just bought an apartment,” “I have a dog,” “The weather isn’t good for my health,” and on and on. (My response to the last question: “The weather? In Brazil? Then maybe he should move to Finland.”)
The entire email was a list of reasons why he did not want to go. And then he asked his friend for advice. Oh, how I felt for his friend! My simple answer to the guy’s dilemma was for him not to go at all. Clearly, he had no desire to, because all he did the entire email was think of reasons to stay in Germany. Apparently, it was a “great opportunity,” but nowhere in the email did he mention any of the benefits of going. Not only should this guy stay home, but no one should ever introduce us. People like this drive me insane.
“The secret of happiness is freedom. The secret of freedom is courage.” – Thucydides
Do you really want to travel? Do you really want to learn a language? Do you really want to move overseas? Do you really want to do anything at all? Then do it already. I’ve always wanted to live overseas, and I do right now. I’ve always wanted to learn to speak other languages, and I speak three now, including a smattering of several others.
I remember several years back, when a few friends and I had a grand idea to move our businesses to the Netherlands. Everyone seemed so down for it. I started working on business plans and treatments, and wrote thousands of words for this scheme. And not too long after, I realized that I was the only one doing anything about it. No one else wrote anything, and no one else contributed except for the typical phrases of “let’s do it” and “I’m totally down for this” and “I can’t wait for this to happen.” Problem was, they were waiting for it to happen instead of making it happen. I stopped working on it, and nobody ever said anything about it or asked me how it was coming along.
I, too, realized that I couldn’t wait for anyone else; and as it stands today, I am the only one of this medium-sized group that ever actually did it. No disrespect to any of those people, as I find them all to be great friends, but in reality: They only wanted to go. They didn’t want to go. See the difference? If you know what I mean, then you know what I mean.

People always say they want something, but they never do it. If I want something bad enough, I know I have to make it happen. I’m not the best at it, I’m always learning, and I’ve failed a zillion times. But if I don’t really want it, then why am I even working on it? Why am I even talking about it? We have a phrase that goes, “Don’t talk about it. Be about it.” It’s the same reason a lot of people I knew didn’t even have a clue that I was moving to Germany back then. It came time to go, and I was telling people a week before we left – some didn’t know at all until we were on the plane. It was nothing personal, I simply chose not to talk about it because I was too busy working on making it happen. I also don’t like to talk about things until they’re 100% sure (I’d rather just do these things), so I suppose I was part of the notification problem as well. Either way, it’s about doing it, not about sitting around talking about it. I can see memories reeling through your head right now, of all the acquaintances you know who talk about doing big things instead of actually doing big things. You’re probably guilty of it, too – I know I am.
Two of the greatest hurdles for people are the two scariest things in the history of the world: uncertainty and the unknown. It’s what drives fear. It’s what drives war, religion, attack, surrender, going, stopping, and everything in between. I won’t delve into this too much, as the great bloggers Niall Doherty (click for his post on Disrupting the Rabblement) and Sean Ogle (click for his post on Location 180) both recently tackled it. Their posts and blogs are worth your time.
If you really want to do something – I mean really want to do something – then do it. You can overcome uncertainty and the unknown. You need confidence, desire, and an actual belief that you can achieve it. You might fail a few times, but as they say, there’s nothing wrong with failure as long as you learn from it. Or, failure is the greatest motivator, or whatever it is.
This could be learning a foreign language, quitting your day job, starting a blog, being location independent, traveling the world full-time, moving overseas for work, finding a guy or girl that you actually connect with, and pretty much anything and everything you’ve ever done worth mentioning in your entire life. If you want it bad enough, there’s a way to make it happen. Don’t even get me started on the endless blathering from people who said we’d never be able to move to Germany, that we would find it impossible to get residency permits, that we wouldn’t be able to get an apartment, that we wouldn’t be able to learn the language. Well guess what? Among other supposedly “impossible” things, we moved to Germany, we obtained two-year residency permits, we got the first apartment we applied for, and we both learned German (well, that’s a never-ending process – even for native speakers).

Don’t be fooled by the devils of uncertainty and the unknown. If you really want something bad enough, then do whatever it takes to make that happen. Get another job, quit another job, save your money, spend some money, sell your possessions, meet new people, extract yourself from the arms of negative people, cut your hair, get that tattoo, reconnect with your parents. Oh, but you have “extenuating circumstances?” What, do you think you’re the only one with a problem? The only one with a roadblock? Whatever it is, if you want it, make it happen.
What, you thought this was supposed to be easy? If it was so easy, everyone would do it! The hardest part might just be your decision to take action. Everything after that is a learning process, a set of steps (or an outline) that you’ll often make without knowing it, some probable failures – and ultimately, success.
I had tried – but obviously not tried hard enough – to move overseas in the past. (Excluding the times I actually did move overseas for school.) I’ll never forget the exact moment when we went from ‘discussion’ to ‘action’. The time and place don’t matter. What matters is that Angela and I collectively said we would do whatever it takes to make it a reality. We said that we knew there would be roadblocks along the way (as we literally drove around them during a short road trip), and that we’d have to figure out how to navigate them. We also said that we had to stop letting our fears overrun our dreams. We knew it wasn’t going to be easy, so we made a decision right then and there to take action and do whatever it took to make it happen. Why? Because we wanted it. And that’s all you really need.
Was there ever a situation you recall where you had to push past uncertainty and the unknown in order to make a dream become a reality? Are you working on something now? Are you still struggling with the unknown? We’d love to hear what’s going on with you – let us know in the comments!
First time checking out the blog — great post!
Thanks man, glad you like it!
Don’t Dream It: Be It (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_T9gYbrarYY). The first song that popped into my head when I saw the blog title.
Grade A stuff as always.
It’s funny you mention the group thing. That’s actually how Hans from ProWebCom and I have become such good friends. We started off bouncing ideas, then we started networking, but after a few months it became apparent that only the two of us were the ones putting ideas into the hat and everyone else was always “wow that’s a great idea” but never actually implementing any of the suggestions. So, we went off and are pursuing our own things, but also working together on some joint venture stuff (which I’m a HUGE proponent of; money is money, and when everyone is working together there’s no 1% and 99%, it’s just a straight 50/50. That’s why ALL of my products have the 50% affiliate split, because I believe in educating and helping people primarily…and it doesn’t help to make a buck on the side, plus help other people make money along the way. Win win).
I think my favorite quote recently has been Machiavelli. “The one who adapts his policy to the times prospers, and likewise the one whose policy clashes with the demands of the times does not.”
However, in this regards, there is a quote from Benjamin Franklin which I’ve used in some of my previous work at Complete Writing Solutions, such as “Are You Really a Writer or Just A Hobbyist?” (http://www.completewritingsolutions.com/2011/12/are-you-really-a-writer-or-just-a-hobbyist/), and in his words,“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.”
Being location independent is key right now. The early settlers of America left Europe because of oppressive times and went abroad to find opportunity. The ancient Romans migrated out when the empire fell…the Ottomans…the list goes on. This is no different. The new era of exploration is being truly global, and that means people who want to succeed go to where the opportunities are.
Unfortunately, waking someone up from The Matrix or shaking them out of their Waking Life (yeah, I’m dropping movie references here lol) is a challenging thing. However, I can say this: the fan mail I get and the “thank you” emails and notes on Twitter and posts makes everything worthwhile when I know that something I said changed someone’s life for the better. Helped them to unplug and realize that they don’t have to be one of the 99%. They don’t have to work their lives away as indentured slaves. You can be independent. Free. Liberated. A True Human, without chains.
It’s the difference between “seeing” and “believing”.
I don’t think I’ve had a moment where I’ve faltered yet, although the moment that catalyzed the change for me was in late 2007. I had a 70,000 dollar job (massive spec home) I had been helping design the natural stone/ceramic installations for 18 months, with the homeowner and the builder, through a local shop I had worked for years with. The year had been rough, and I had already gone from 8-10k a month to barely clearing 3k a month, and we were eking it out. No work, beginning of the crisis. Two days before I was going in to sign the final paperwork I find out that they not only boned me, but also had another crew on site who had started work already.
I had a signed letter of intent = I could have taken them to court and gotten my $70,000, but it would have cost me that in legal fees through small claims court. And I had zero work lined up. Nothing. And only enough money to last us a few months. In the middle of winter in Colorado. When there is almost no construction going on. In a year where my profits had seen a nearly 70% dive.
It was sink or swim. And we started spit-balling options. In about three weeks we decided to just go to Bulgaria and I’d start over somewhere doing something new while she finished her college (ex-wife). But I haven’t had a moment of hesitation since then. I had always wanted to be a writer, so I just ran with it and spent the last 4 years building up my career while traveling the world. In a sense, the divorce actually freed me up to do even more traveling, because now it’s just me. And my business plan has continually evolved.
It does take a certain type of character to be independent, though. You have to commit to being your own boss, and a lot of people don’t know what it’s like to go through life unless they have a hoop through their nose guiding them around like a sheep. Once you can break through that, cut the rope as it were….true human potential is limitless :)
*written on 2nd cup of coffee; have not edited. Grammar-nazis can DIAF*
That was a beast! Can’t believe you had to drop the Rocky Horror Picture Show in there. My reply that has nothing to do with your video, but is always worth a viewing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skCV2L0c6K0
Your story is certainly a great anecdote about how bad shit can get, and that there are always options out there. And sometimes, what seems like the most difficult and/or non-existent option is not only much easier than others, but actually proves to push one in the right direction. In your case, going to Bulgaria probably opened the door to this massive world that exists for you now. I don’t know what you did before that, as far as travel and all that go, but yeah.
What’s harder? Committing to be your own boss, or committing to let go of your iron grasp and let someone else do some work for you? Another discussion for another time, but I’m sure you’ll be seeing a lot of that as you get your new intern(s) on board. We can shoot it about that when we’re tossing back Modelos sometime.
I should also say that I have no problem with people who are content in a day job, or content to be home and married with two kids and going to soccer practice in a minivan on the weekend and eat at TGI Friday’s. To each their own, and the world needs every type of person. Whatever makes you happy is fine by me, as long as it doesn’t affect my quality of life. I can spout on and on about being one’s own boss, or getting out of the comfort zone, or moving overseas or whatever, but in the end, it’s all about what makes a person happy. This shit certainly isn’t for everyone. I guess that’s why I threw random things in there about what people want, even basic things. It’s about what people want, and how hard they’re willing to work to get what they want. Talk is cheap.
Now I’m just babbling. I think I’m on cup #7 or so. Ha.
P.S. Ben Franklin drops mad ill quotes. Ha. He’s always got some good ones ready to be cast upon the masses.
I traveled a lot before going permanent expat. Used to take 2-3 months off a year and just head to Bulgaria, various other places, spend my cash. Routine since 1999 when I first left the States for London on a 2 week “OMFG I’m a country where I can legally drink!” binge of sex, drugs and rock and roll. And touristy things. And Stonehenge (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Zdyo4vJuCU). And raves. Saw Fatboy Slim while I was there at the height of his fame. But living abroad? Not until Jan of ’08.
Hardest part for me is delegating, but I’m having fun putting things into place for the interns. They are all going to be building their own blogs and brands along the way, and it’s been fun putting together the coursework, etc. It’s also the platform for something larger which will be coming down the pipeline in September after we finish the first group =P
Talk is cheap. Actions are the only true measure of a person’s worth.
Gotcha haha. Seems we have the same mindset. I never had much money, but whenever I did have some, I used it to travel everywhere and anywhere I could.
And my folks won’t want to hear this, but I had the same “OMFG” when I went to France at 16. And I definitely took advantage of it.
I can imagine how insane a FBS concert would have been back then, especially in the UK. That had to be some serious business.
Delegating! That’s the word I was looking for, and Ang wasn’t around to fill my brain with the missing English words. But I’m sure we both know by now that one must eventually delegate. I don’t thin we would even be here right now if I hadn’t learned by default that delegation was a huge part of us leaving. I’m looking forward to hearing about and seeing how your intern projects work out for you and will certainly be following along.
Well done–as always! It’s pretty amazing to be the proud parent of someone who has acted decisively on his dreams.
Last Sunday was Pentecost. In his sermon the Apostle Peter quotes the prophet Joel: “In the last days…God declares…I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh…and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams.”
Well, it’s one thing to be a dreamer. And there are many. but not every dreamer acts on his or her dreams. It’s something else to act on them, to take the proverbial “bull by the horns” and move forward in the face of obstacles and possible failures and naysayers.
The two of you have done this and Mom and I rejoice. As we’ve shared your story with others, some are amazed, some say “it’s crazy”, some cry, “good for them!” We’re with the latter group. But already we’re wondering: after Montenegro, where next?
Love to you both,
Dad
And I must say that I couldn’t have taken any of these positive paths in life without you and Mom! Then again, you were the ones who put me in or let me take that German class when I was 8 years old. You were the ones who bought World Book and Time Life and National Geographic. And I never looked back! As you know, I’m a total junkie for anything having to do with language, travel, culture, and geography. :)
You also know that I’ve been a dreamer plenty of times – and still am. There are just some things you have to realize you want bad enough that you are willing to put certain things aside and focus on making them happen.
After Montenegro? Somewhere warm for the winter! Like old snowbirds haha.
You are right about doing, rather than just talking about doing. We all fall into that in one way or another. We’re proud of your courage to do. I’m also glad you understand that your choices about what to do might not be the same as someone else’s. Joy is found on many avenues. :)
Yes indeed: Everyone is guilty of it. I tried to make it clear that I’m guilty of it as well, and I fail as well. It’s not like any of these successful folks out there in the world have only had endless arrays of winning. It takes a lot of factors and safety nets and money and all the other things that 99.999999999% of people don’t have in order for that to happen. So we must be dreamers, and we must be failures, but it all must be while working toward a goal of succeeding and making things happen.
As much as I wish you all would retire in Ireland or somewhere foreign, I know what your current dreams are and I only make my comments in jest!
I just had an interesting conversation with a really close friend of mine here in Cancun last night about dreams. He was working on one of his newsletters and had mentioned me in it, because out of all of the people he knows, he said I’m one of only three people he’s met in the world who he categorizes as “dreamers and achievers”.
Dreams are what we are made of. The pursuit of happiness comes from a desire to see our dreams come to fruition. I honestly believe that Destiny/Fate is nothing more than fulfilling the role that we were put here on Earth to do. This is why the most successful people on the planet are the ones who are DOING WHAT THEY LOVE TO DO! Why? Because THEY WERE MEANT TO BE DOING THAT ONE THING!
That’s why it’s SO important for people to stop working for someone else’s dreams and start working for their own. If you aren’t happy in your job/place now…change it. The only way you will ever achieve success is by following your destiny…and doing what it was you were meant to do. Happiness is a natural by-product because you will be doing the thing you most love in life, and success will naturally follow!
I wrote a little rant, and then realized I was just repeating what you said in my own words. So now, I’ll just say that I couldn’t agree more.
Your last paragraph is especially important and to the point. People think it’s just something that’s only said, thrown around like it’s easy but can’t possibly happen. But, there are people who actually do indeed do what makes them happy. You and we and all the others like us are proof of that.
Hi Ryan,
I agree completely. Compared to our grandparents, we have infinite choices and opportunities. It really is possible to do anything we want, where ever we want. A plane ticket to the other side of the world costs a couple weeks salary at minimum wage. We can research accommodations online and have everything set up in advance. It is possible to earn an income online from anywhere with Internet. Global communications are free. Every question can be answered with a Google search.
I really don’t understand what all the fuss is about. People don’t need ebooks or expensive membership sites to learn how to travel or work online. Just do it.
My father escaped communist Hungary during the revolution of 1956. He travelled overland to Italy and then by ship to Canada. He arrived with no money, no possessions, no job and no English. There are millions of refugees going through that process now all over the world. I can’t imagine the difficulties they must be going through.
However, for English speaking people from western countries. There is absolutely no excuse.
As you say, “Don’t talk about it. Be about it.”
John,
Thanks very much for taking the time to check out our blog! I agree that it’s easier than ever to do what we do. The world is so connected now, that it oftentimes feels like you’re not on the other side of the world when you clearly are. To be honest, I somewhat miss the old days of traveling and living overseas, when mobile phones were scarce and email even scarcer. There is something to be said about being forced to use a phone card to call home on a pay phone, and to write actual letters – with paper and ink and stamps!
Sure, we can do that now, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little nostalgic for the days when immersion was a requirement and not a choice. Of course, the flipside of that has an endless array of positives as well, proven simply by this conversation we’re having right now.
Thanks for sharing a short story about your dad. I think it would be wonderful if you wrote a longer story or post about that some day. I have no idea how much access you have to that information, or how much you know about his journey, but I truly think that each immigrant’s story is a unique lesson on history and culture. I never get tired of reading things like that.
Anyhow, I clearly agree with you. Everyone can do it these days; all it takes is the will to make it happen. It’s easy, but it’s not easy, if you get my drift. But if it was that easy…insert a paragraph of obvious statements here. Ha.
Thanks again, we love your site and you’d be very pleased know how it factored in to our journey. Another convo for another time!
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Great post! I recently quit a job I hated in order to pursue my dreams of location independence and travel. I’m having to work through those issues of uncertainty and doubt at the moment but each day that goes by they get a little weaker. These fears can make you go through life in a state of indifference, so I agree that at one point or another you just have to take action!
You just have to keep confident and do whatever it takes to accomplish your plan. Regarding whatever you’re doing for work, I’d also suggest that you be flexible to change because you might have to adjust things along the way in order to get to the point where you’re making enough, or successful enough, etc. Best of luck on your journey – I signed up for your blog and look forward to reading about it. Thanks for reading and commenting!
Most frustrating thing about people. Even moreso when I find myself doing it.
Haha yeah, gotta keep yourself in check as well! Thanks for stopping by, James.